Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
