no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
