They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
