Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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