i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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