You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
