we have pet lesbian snakes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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