I'm so fucking centered right now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
