Define "chronic" masturbator.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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