why didn't you poke me back
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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