Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
