Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
