google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize