I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
NoShamevember. You game?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
