420 ftw
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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