So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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