I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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