you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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