he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
