If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
