it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
