id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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