He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
