so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
