I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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