I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
dude. I can hear the air.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
