problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
