this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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