Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
