no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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