i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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