we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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