I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
