Soap is not a condiment
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
