wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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