I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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