like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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