I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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