Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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