I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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