Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
