if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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