her vagine was all disorganized.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this boner is exhausting
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
