why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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