So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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