She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
