oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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