i just wanna soil my oats bro
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
