dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
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What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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