So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize