Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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