The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
