She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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