Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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